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Communication is a Skill You Can Learn

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Communication is a Skill You Can Learn

Not only can having effective communication skills help you succeed in your job, but they can also help you improve your relationships and achieve true happiness in all that you do. When your communication skills are poor, you will suffer personally as well as professionally, and everything you do will be more difficult than is necessary.

Some people believe that communicating well is a talent when, in reality, it is a skill, just like driving, riding a bike, or creating a spreadsheet. You CAN learn to be a better communicator when you develop and practice the skills that are involved in this process.

The Skills Necessary for Effective Communication

Communication is not just one skill. It is actually a combination of many smaller tasks and processes, all of which can be learned and honed with practice and patience. If you want to improve your communication efforts, here are the eight skills you can start practicing today.

#1. Listening

One of the easiest ways to communicate more effectively is by being a better listener. Practice active listening in all your interactions. Pay attention to the person talking, making eye contact with them. Ask questions to help you understand what they said or asked. Listening will help you know what others need and want while teaching you new knowledge and skills.

#2. Understanding Non-Verbal Cues

Words are not the most essential part of communication. Paying attention to the gestures, posture, tone, facial expressions, and other non-verbal cues from others will provide you with more meaning and context to what they are saying. Active listening helps, as it makes you aware of more cues.

#3. Being Friendly

If someone perceives you as hostile or negative, they are not likely to listen to or be open to what you have to say. A smile and a friendly tone go a long way toward improving your communication efforts. A nod to courtesy and friendliness in your written and verbal communications makes people more willing to engage with you in the future.

#4. Being Clear and Concise

Whether in written or spoken messages, it is crucial that you can state your point or idea with clarity and conciseness. Give people the information they need to know without rambling on or distracting with irrelevant details. It helps to plan out your message before you start talking or writing.

#5. Being Confident

How confident you are comes across in your message as well as your tone. When you are confident, people are more likely to trust you and think that you are credible and competent. Using your listening skills can effective non-verbal cues can help to communicate your confidence, as well.

#6. Showing Respect

When you convey respect to the other person, they are more likely to be open to you and your ideas. Paying attention to the other person, making eye contact, listening, showing empathy, and using proper grammar and usage all show that you respect the other person and care that they can understand your message.

#7. Being Open-Minded

Communication is about sharing information, and being open-minded means you want to learn more and understand others’ ideas and points of view. Rather than caring only about getting your message out there, you should be open to what others have to say, as well.

#8. Showing Empathy

While you may not always understand or agree with someone, you can respect that they are allowed to have ideas and perspectives different from your own. And you can acknowledge that you do not have the same background or experiences as them.

Each of these skills is something you can practice in your daily life that will help you to be a better communicator overall. Taking time to work on these regularly will improve your communication skills in no time.

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Great Communication Starts with Better Listening

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Great Communication Starts with Better Listening

It seems that the pace and complexity of communication today has created an almost hectic need to get your point made and accomplish your own agenda. What this leaves out, though, is the importance and need to listen to other people. When your goal is simply to honor your personal needs, you focus on manipulating the conversation so that you “win” by saying what you came there to say.

This is a fine way to approach communicating if the world in which you live is never changing, you already know everything, and you are doing the right thing all the time. Since that description applies to literally NO ONE on this planet, it is time we worked on our listening skills.

Being open to new information, alternate perspectives, and different solutions is what enables you to continue growing and reaching for new goals in life. And you cannot do that without learning to listen.

Listen to Learn

When was the last time you listened so carefully to someone that you learned something new or saw things from a new viewpoint? Most of the time, we are hearing out of courtesy, not curiosity. Pretending to listen or just being polite will make it appear as though you are listening but will help you learn anything from others. Instead of approaching a conversation with a mind set on your agenda, try asking yourself, “What things can this person teach me?”

Starting each day with a mindset focused on curiosity and learning can help you become a better listener.

Ask More Questions

Whether you are practicing curiosity or not, asking more and better questions can also help you become a better listener. Asking questions gives the other person the space to provide you with their truth, and when the spotlight is off you, you can focus on attending to their words and meaning. Open-ended questions can help you see new perspectives or elicit explanations that people would not have considered giving had you simply asked a yes-no question.

Be Aware of Body Language

When the other person changes their tone, posture, or eye contact, this tells you a great deal about their comfort level or mood. But when you are not paying attention to these cues, you miss this essential information.

Paying attention to body language provides you with much more information about the intent, context, and emotional content of the message being sent. Learn to carefully observe these non-verbal messages if you want to improve your listening skills.

Take Time to Reflect

If you want to become a better listener, learn to stop and think about what was just said before giving a response. Living with pauses and silence is becoming almost a lost art in today’s world, but when you stop and reflect on others’ words, you give yourself time to process what you learned as well as formulate a more cogent response.

When you start responding more slowly, your conversation partner will notice, and they, in turn, may slow down their responses, too. This can change the entire conversation with one simple strategy.

Listen More than You Talk

When you are talking within others, try to listen twice as much as you speak. The only way to get better at listening is to listen more. And when you are the one doing all the talking, you cannot improve your skills. A two-to-one ratio of listening to talking helps you focus on others’ ideas and views and gives you more time to think about what you are learning and what you can really add to the exchange, as well.

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