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Cathartic Healing: How to Emotionally Purge in 7 Ways

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Thirteen years ago, I came home sobbing from the latest misogynoir, exclusion, and isolation I experienced at my high school. I expected to seek consolation from my mother, but was surprised when she simply responded with the words: “Good. Write it out.”

Although I had written some poems before, I hadn’t yet learned to see poetry as a therapeutic outlet. However, from then on, I would make a habit of purging my emotions through the most healing art form I have ever experienced.

As Baha’u’llah, the prophet and founder of the Baha’i Faith, wrote:

Every word of thy poetry is indeed like unto a mirror in which the evidences of the devotion and love thou cherishest for God and His chosen ones are reflected.

…Its perusal hath truly proved highly impressive, for it was indicative of both the light of reunion and the fire of separation.

Emotional Purging: Defining Catharsis

I channeled this fire inside my heart as a new light was reflected through my art. Shortly after I began to experience the healing power of poetry, I would learn that there was a word for this releasing of my pain through the written word: catharsis.

Merriam-Webster defines “catharsis” as a “purification or purgation of the emotions (such as pity and fear) primarily through art” and “a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension.”

How to Purge Your Emotions in 7 Ways

Unfortunately, we all experience pain in our lives. However, when you don’t release that tension and stuff all of those feelings inside, you suffer — emotionally and physically, worsening your well-being and quality of life. 

Catharsis is an important step we must take to heal from our trauma and refresh our mind, heart, body, and soul. Below are seven practices that help me emotionally purge. I believe they can help you all too.

1. Cry It Out

Don’t swallow those tears that have been rising in the back of your throat and welling up your eyes. Purge your emotions by giving yourself permission to cry. There is a Jewish proverb that says, “What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.” 

As long as you’re careful not to get stuck in a depressive state, crying can help relax you, likely because it stimulates the release of endorphins — neurochemicals that mask pain. If you don’t have the energy to cry, let your pen do it for you.

2. Write It Out

Baha’u’llah wrote:

The pen groaneth and the ink sheddeth tears…

Although writing about and reflecting on your traumatic experiences can be a very emotional process, studies have found that this “expressive writing” leads to extraordinary health benefits in the long term. 

According to a journal article titled “Emotional and Physical Health Benefits of Expressive Writing,” published in Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, longer-term benefits of expressive writing are:

Health outcomes

• Fewer stress-related visits to the doctor

• Improved immune system functioning

• Reduced blood pressure

• Improved lung function

• Improved liver function

• Fewer days in hospital

• Improved mood/affect

• Feeling of greater psychological well-being

• Reduced depressive symptoms before examinations

• Fewer post-traumatic intrusion and avoidance symptoms

Social and behavioural outcomes

• Reduced absenteeism from work

• Quicker re-employment after job loss

• Improved working memory

• Improved sporting performance

• Higher students’ grade point average

• Altered social and linguistic behaviour

So, it’s no surprise that the Baha’i writings say, “One hour’s reflection is preferable to seventy years of pious worship.” 

Whether you journal, write poetry, or create some other form of art that channels your pain into something useful or beautiful, recording your reflections, experiences, and lessons learned can not only heal yourself, but it can also resonate with and inspire others who are going through what you have experienced.

3. Work Out

When I’m feeling frustrated or distressed, I love to exercise, as it also gives me that euphoric feeling from endorphins. Studies have shown that regular exercise can be just as effective as an antidepressant for your mood. 

For example, in 2019, Karmel Choi, a clinical and research fellow at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health, found that with each significant boost in physical activity, the odds of becoming depressed dropped by 26%. She explained, “This increase in physical activity is what you might see on your activity tracker if you replaced 15 minutes of sitting with 15 minutes of running, or one hour of sitting with one hour of moderate activity like brisk walking.” 

RELATED: 9 Health and Wellness Tips From a Baha’i Perspective

The central figures of the Baha’i Faith understood the connection between our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Abdu’l-Baha stated: 

Between material things and spiritual things there is a connection. The more healthful his body the greater will be the power of the spirit of man; the power of the intellect, the power of the memory, the power of reflection will be greater.

With every yoga, dance, or pilates workout I do, I can feel my energy levels rising, my mood brightening, and the weight of the stress and tension melting away. 

4. Breathe It Out

Certain breathing exercises can be just as effective at calming my nervous system as any exercise routine. I gravitate towards Kundalini yogic breathing techniques, such as the commonly practiced Breath of Fire.

Not only is the Breath of Fire amazing for stress release, but research has also found that it improves digestion and respiratory function as well as enhances mindfulness and concentration. I definitely recommend it for mental clarity and coherence.

5. Tap It Out

EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping is a powerful therapeutic method that combines cognitive therapy with acupressure. It’s an easy-to-learn type of acupressure that involves tapping on specific acupressure points on the body while acknowledging the negative thoughts, emotions, and beliefs that you need to release and accepting yourself throughout the process. 

According to a journal article titled “Clinical EFT as an Evidence-Based Practice for the Treatment of Psychological and Physiological Conditions: A Systematic Review,” published in Frontiers in Psychology, “RCTs [randomized controlled trials] have found EFT treatment to be effective for (a) psychological conditions such as anxiety, depression, phobias, and posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD); (b) physiological issues such as pain, insomnia, and autoimmune conditions; (c) professional and sports performance; and (d) biological markers of stress.”

Whenever I do EFT tapping, I notice immediate results.

6. Talk It Out

After crying, writing, exercising, breathing, or tapping has calmed you down and helped you think more clearly, you may want to have a heart-to-heart with the person who has hurt you and tell them how certain words and actions make you feel. 

People who care about each other in a relationship usually don’t intend to hurt each other so it’s important to let someone know what you need in a relationship so they can avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

In a letter written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual Baha’i in 1945, the Baha’is are advised to “overlook each other’s mistakes, apologize for harsh words they have uttered, forgive and forget.”

7. Pray and Meditate for a New Route

In a prayer revealed by the Bab, the forerunner of Baha’u’llah, it says:

O Lord! Thou art the Remover of every anguish and the Dispeller of every affliction.

Pray for healing and help from God as you seek answers to a problem or clarity about a new direction you’d like to take. When you pair prayer with meditation to receive guidance and then follow it up with action, trust that you will be supported as you act on the inspiration that comes from your sincere prayers and meditations.

RELATED: How To Start Creating Your New Future

Moreover, at a talk in Paris in 1911, Abdu’l-Baha said:

If we are hemmed in by difficulties we have only to call upon God, and by His great Mercy we shall be helped. If sorrow and adversity visit us, let us turn our faces to the Kingdom and heavenly consolation will be outpoured. If we are sick and in distress let us implore God’s healing, and He will answer our prayer. 

When our thoughts are filled with the bitterness of this world, let us turn our eyes to the sweetness of God’s compassion and He will send us heavenly calm! If we are imprisoned in the material world, our spirit can soar into the Heavens and we shall be free indeed!

I hope these seven tips help you purge those toxic emotions and experience healing and heavenly calm.

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Entitlement: Detrimental to Your Spiritual Health

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If you live in the developed world like I do you enjoy certain advantages that a lot of people in other places do not: electricity, running water, plentiful food and clothing—and particularly jobs.

Why do refugees flee their poor, oppressive or conflict-ridden countries and endure great hardship to make it to Europe or the United States? It’s simple: they want to get to a country where they can live better lives. In their situation, anyone would do the same thing. When refugees arrive in the developed world, with hard work and ingenuity they can get a job or create a business and make a good living—a living that includes a peaceful society, human rights and freedoms, functioning utilities, cars, gyms and a wealth of advantages over their homelands.

However, the developing world uses most of the world’s resources. On average, an inhabitant of North America consumes around 90 kilograms (kg) of resources each day. In Europe, consumption is around 45 kg per day, while in Africa people consume only around 10 kg per day.

All of the wealth in the developed world is used without much thought to this huge disparity. With our dependence on these material things, though, comes the darker side: entitlement. In North America, Europe and certain other developed regions of the world, many people feel entitled to their patterns of over-consumption. They believe their lifestyle is their right. But that sense of entitlement is detrimental to spiritual growth and overall health—mind, body and spirit.

An entitled person feels that he/she deserves to be given something, whether it is a high paying job, financial support or some special privilege—without working hard for it or giving anything back. I don’t know about you, but I’ve known many people like this, who feel they don’t have to work at certain jobs just because they got educated and earned a degree. They are convinced that their degree entitles them to a high paying job right out of school, rather than accepting a more entry-level position.

Actually, I was one of them. So I understand the feelings of having gone to a university, gotten a degree and then smugly nurturing an entitled mindset that I immediately deserved a great job with good pay. I learned a valuable lesson when this did not happen. I learned that my degree was not going to financially support me without a lot more hard work on my part.

I should have known better anyway as my Baha’i parents taught me at an early age that life was not easy and nothing would be handed to me on a platter. I have very loving and kind parents who worked hard, so I saw as I grew up the importance of a good work ethic. In fact, my parents definitely followed the Baha’i teachings to “accustom your children to hardship:”

…Endeavour to rectify the conduct of men, and seek to excel the whole world in moral character. While the children are yet in their infancy feed them from the breast of heavenly grace, foster them in the cradle of all excellence, rear them in the embrace of bounty. Give them the advantage of every useful kind of knowledge. Let them share in every new and rare and wondrous craft and art. Bring them up to work and strive, and accustom them to hardship. Teach them to dedicate their lives to matters of great import, and inspire them to undertake studies that will benefit mankind. – Abdu’l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of Abdu’l-Baha, p. 102.

I was a very headstrong child and as such I wanted to make my own money and have my own job. So I got a job at the age of 14 at a fast-food restaurant. I have pretty much worked ever since, even working two jobs plus full time coursework during my university years. Now I’m not saying everyone should or even can do this—we all have our unique strengths and drives.

I do, however, see quite a bit of this spiritual illness called entitlement with many people and, I often wonder, is it the parents’ fault for not introducing their children to hardship at an early age by making them do chores or some kind of work around the house? Perhaps it is. Of course it is not done out of malice, but instead out of love. Giving your children responsibilities in the household will help them cultivate a sense of work ethic early on. Sadly, though, it doesn’t help the entitled child when everything is done for him or her, but instead thwarts her or his spiritual growth, as well as the child’s mental and physical health and happiness.

Entitled people can burden a community, government and families. They often demand or expect others to finance their lives, while they exert minimal effort at supporting themselves. Somewhere in the midst of growing up, they learned not to be bothered by burdening others, in spite of being quite capable themselves. Sadly, this kind of laziness born of entitlement is detrimental to their spiritual growth, physical attainments, health and even mental capabilities. It will also affect their happiness in the long term, resulting in an eventual drop in self-esteem and self-respect.

This is why it is imperative that children learn at an early age that life is not easy, and that they are not entitled to a free ride. Teaching children not to feel entitled shouldn’t communicate neglect or hold back love from them, but should teach them that hard work will help them to be well-rounded and capable adults who have the potential—with enough hard work and dedication—to transform the world.

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